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I thought “Neighbor Steve” would be dead 9 months or a year ago but he’s not.
Neighbor Steve has cancer bad, has had multiple body parts removed, is in and out of the hospital on a regular basis and still… he keeps going.
A few days ago, I was getting ready to mow our grass and the incredible Susie texted Steve to see if he wanted me to mow his grass too. He said he didn’t and would get around to it this week.
A couple of hours later, there we were…both of us mowing our lawns at the same time.
When we got close enough to speak to each other, we both shut our mowers off and after a brief moment of silence, Steve said this to me about mowing his grass…
“If I don’t try… I’ll F**king Die!”
I could so relate to this.
Not about actually dying, but all the times in my past where I felt like I was dying inside.
If I didn’t keep trying to create the love and life I want.
If I didn’t keep trying to create the business I want.
And If I didn’t keep trying to create the life I want.
The feeling I get is like I’m dying inside.
Other than being physically sick (truly ill) there may not be anything worse than a feeling like you are dying inside.
You want something so bad (maybe multiple things) and you don’t know when or if it will manifest in your life and you get stuck and if this feeling stays on for very long you feel like you are dying inside.
THIS is a horrible place to be.
Believe me when I say, I have been there.
I remember one night MANY years ago when I was in a really bad spot in my first marriage and I listened to the song by Bonnie Raitt called “I Can’t Make You Love Me” on repeat while I was sitting alone on my basement floor.
I must have listened to that song 17 times that night and I can tell you two things about that:
One: That is a VERY Depressing song (especially on repeat) and…
Two: A moment like this forces you to decide whether you are going to stay stuck or whether you are going to do whatever it takes to create the love, life, abundance or anything else you want.
It wasn’t in that moment, but there came a time when I knew I HAD to keep trying to create the love and life I wanted, I longed for and I craved or I would die inside.
I was way too young for that.
Whether it’s love, life, abundance creation or something else…
You have to keep going for what you want because if you don’t there is a part of you that will die inside.
No matter what part of your life you’re talking about, the question becomes…
What Do You Want?
AND Will you keep moving toward it?
The questions “What do you want?” and “Will you keep moving toward it?” are such simple questions but they are almost the only ones that matter.
I struggle with this all the time but I don’t stay stuck there.
What I’m finding in my own life is that the trick is really being with these questions.
It’s to keep inviting your mind, heart and soul to continuously ask the question “What do I want?” and being willing to always keep trying (but NOT to keep trying the same thing if it’s not creating what you want.)
You gotta try something new if what you’re doing isn’t creating what you want.
Again…
What do you want to create in your life?