admin It is interesting and intriguing to know, understand and evaluate the relationship between husband, wife and the third factor. Although the mindsets of all the three factors are dependent and independent still they are interestingly, interdependent to each other. Set aside the philosophical and scientifically established principals, the human factor can be viewed and evaluated coherently. This particular aspect can be within and outside the parameters of needs and necessities. It can be biological, physiological and psychological compulsions or peripheral influences.
The sole dominating factor, at the outset, is the husband; at times, it is the wife. She conspicuously established her personality. There is no need for any comparison between them. However, looking minutely the nuances in their desires and needs will reveal quite valuable information; points to ponder. Besides, there is a need to understand distinctly and clearly, the third factor too.
The question arises, as to why we should ponder on the third factor? Well, the live by itself will show the pointer in that direction. There are insignificant issues and unimportant instances, which grew progressively at a snail’s speed initially. Thereafter, these slow paces of life gather momentum and take a quantum leap and catapult into wilderness. It becomes beyond the scope of all the three factors to control it or contain it. What was conspired and transpired between them is anybody’s guess?
Let us evaluate the individual factors in a broader sense rather than restricting it to a myopic approach or getting bias influence.
The husband, by virtue of being a male factor, displays the authority in its own macho manner. He failed to realise his vulnerable link and weakness when encounters an opposite sex in many ways than he imagines. His drift is influenced by physical, mental or other peripheral instances. It could be consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously. He inculcates quite a few convincing habits, which are influenced by the subtle forces of woman’s weakness.
Women, on the other hand, are strong otherwise, yet she is weak in many ways. Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D, beautifully defined in her book Wander Woman. She says, “The problem is that you have defined accepting help as being vulnerable, which means you are susceptible to being wounded or hurt, including being open to criticism.”
The irony is that she gets influenced by the whispers and eavesdrops. When she gets cornered and entangled in an unwarranted situation then she needs a shoulder to cry on. This is the crucial moment; she becomes the victim of circumstances. At this stage, the third factor plays an important role. He takes an advantage of the prevailing situation and succeeds in showing canny interest in her well being. He will eventually become the well wisher and soothsayer to her.
When a woman failed to differentiate between her own strength and other people’s camouflage help, then she becomes the rudderless ship. She gets carried away by her desires, uncontrollable passion and blind faith. She finally reached the undesired destination. Her passion will eventually ruin her dreams, and she is exposed to harsh realities of disaster.
It is not her entire fault, but the husband is also equally responsible for her plight. His negligence pertaining to wife’s needs and desires becomes the hallmark of the deterioration of their relationship. Besides, in other aspects of his own life, eventually play a greater negative role. Here the woman can recoup her strength by reversing her weaknesses in a positive way. As Stephanie Adams says, “Each person’s personal weaknesses are simply a reversed image of their strength.”
Therefore, summing up, the perpetual diverse lives will become a force to reckon with, provided, they merge and become one solid line. Thereby, the end can be happy, prosperous and memorable. If any side deviates from its intended measure, then fissures will develop and disturbs the harmony between them. It will wreck their otherwise happy married life into chaos and confusion. The melancholy feelings leave its imprints on the heart and mind. It is advisable to weigh and measure the situation prior to jumping on the peripheral scenario of uncertainties. These untimely and immature decisions will become the mirage of deception, and it will create a hope of irrelevance and uncertainties.